


losing buttons

by kingdra (aroceu)



Series: Generosity [31]
Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: Black & White | Pokemon Black and White Versions
Genre: M/M, Post-Canon Fix-It, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-26
Updated: 2012-07-26
Packaged: 2017-11-23 07:46:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/619729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aroceu/pseuds/kingdra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been three years.</p>
            </blockquote>





	losing buttons

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ryomakun](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryomakun/gifts).



It's been three years.  
  
Not like N has been counting. N doesn't count much actually--sometimes he makes himself believe that he's lost track of the days, weeks, months away from Unova. Away from home.  
  
He's always liked to think that he didn't have a home, because he didn't. The castle was like an orphanage, when he thinks about it now: a place where he stayed and lived, but not a place where he felt comfortable, where he felt right. He's been gone from that castle, and Unova, for years now, and it feels like something is absent from his heart.  
  
N looks over the beaches of Slateport, sighs to himself. It's different, being a whole country away. No one knows him, no one gives him sidelong glances, no one recognizes him and no one is after him anymore.  
  
And N makes himself that he doesn't miss it, doesn't miss anyone being after him.  
  
He walks back to the city, back to the hotel he's been staying at. This has been his routine for the near three years, although with different towns--he gaze over the trees of Fortree, scope out the mountains near Lavaridge. There's something about Hoenn that he likes--maybe it's the feeling that there's always excitement, always something going on, threaded beneath the earth here.  
  
It's still not Unova though, and it's still not home.  
  
N curses every time he thinks of Unova, only one face flashing into his mind. The face that had him start associating Unova with home. Wild black hair, adventurous eyes, a penchant for loving and caring. N makes himself believe that it doesn't mean anything, because that'd just been a boy. A boy who'd asked him questions, wanted to fight  _for_  pokemon, had a different bond with pokemon, wanted to win against him--for love. For the same thing that they'd both wanted.  
  
N stops and clutches his chest. He didn't know his heart could ache.  
  
-  
  
"He's not answering any of my calls! What do I do?"  
  
Cheren looks at Black on the other end of the xtransceiver. After years of knowing him, he never thought that he'd be the one Black would come to for romantic advice.  
  
"I don't know," he answers, honestly. "There's probably a  _reason_  why he's not answering your calls, don't you think? Shouldn't you figure that out first?"  
  
"Yeah but," says Black. He's more distressed than usual, Cheren can tell--his wild black hair is sticking up more than ever, and his fingers look limp like they've been dialing all day.  
  
"I know he left, and he never said he'd be back--did he even bring his xtransceiver with him? Does he just not care about me anymore?"  
  
Really, Cheren always thought that he'd be the one Black would be complaining about. At the least.  
  
"When did he ever care about you?" he can't help but challenge, harshly. "He just seemed more like he was interested in how you handle pokemon, but that's it..."  
  
Black gets a wistful look in his eyes then, that makes Cheren's heart pang. "You wouldn't understand," he says, and Cheren pretends his heart doesn't hurt even more. "He would always say that my pokemon loved me, always gave me second chances... asked me how I was whenever we met. It was different. I mean, yeah," he sighs like he's about to defend himself, "he thought pretty messed up things about pokemon... but he still cared about them, y'know? And I could tell that he cared about me too."  
  
Cheren burns with jealousy at how easily Black can read into this N character;  _why can't you read into me, then? Why can't you see that I want you?_  He forces a smile into the xtransceiver and says, bitterly, "Well I hope he answers your calls some time, then. Don't worry, it's practically impossible to ignore you."  
  
Black laughs, flicks his fringe from his dark eyes. Cheren watches all of this, and the way that Black blinks twice before he speaks--a sign that he's stopping himself from crying.  
  
"Thanks for the help Cheren," he says. "I appreciate it."  
  
They hang up and Cheren stares at his xtransceiver for a moment too long, trying to force all inadequate feelings about Black and everything away.  
  
-  
  
N doesn't think much of it when he hears, "Here you are!" and then, "Oh my god, I've finally found you!" He's walking beneath cycling road toward Mauville, and doesn't really think or stop until he hears someone say, "N!"  
  
And even though anyone could be saying "N" for any particular reason, he feels like it's being called like a name--so he turns around, looks up.  
  
Sees a boy on a bike, stopped in the middle of cycling road and looking down at him as if N had just died and had risen back to life.  
  
"Black?" he says uncertainly, because his eyes might be deceiving him. It's been years and the boy on the bike looks older than the Black whom he'd known, although that's to be expected. He's wondering what Black is doing in Hoenn.  
  
"Yes!" says Black, and then glances around awkwardly. "I, uh." He starts to hop off his bike but seems to think better of it. "Give me a minute."  
  
N waits patiently as he watched Black bike back to the Mauville entrance of cycling road, and then down the grass and streets to him. He stops in front of N, winded and breathless, and nearly stumbles when he dismounts.  
  
"What are you doing here?" asks N once Black seems to be breathing properly again.  
  
"Looking for you," Black says simply.  
  
_Looking for me?_  N stares at Black, wondering why on earth Black would be looking for him. Black should be getting on with his life, laughing and being friends with Alder and the rest of the Elite Four, battling on more trainers, capturing more pokemon, becoming Pokemon Champion. Not looking for N.  
  
"In Hoenn?" N asks, because it's the only proper response he can think of.  
  
Black shrugs. "I was - um, well, I thought that if you left Unova, Hoenn seemed like your kind of place, most. And you weren't picking up your xtransceiver calls either, so I figured that it must've been because you were out of the area..."  
  
N blinks. He'd nearly forgotten that he had an xtransceiver.  
  
"Ghetsis gave that to me," he murmurs. "Only for the sake of communicating. I didn't think when I left that I'd need it any more. It's probably in the rubble of the castle somewhere."  
  
"Oh." Black looks crestfallen, and N tries to imagine the exact amount of times Black has tried to call him.  
  
"But, um." N shuffles around. It feels weird seeing Black again--having human contact with someone he'd once known.  
  
"You look different," says Black. "Without your hat, I mean." He points at the top of N's head, as if he needs an indication. "I wasn't sure if it was you at first, but your hair sort of..."  
  
N can't help laughing at this, actually. "It's okay," he says. "There are weirder fashions around here. I saw a boy with a white hat on once and I thought it was his hair at first."  
  
Black chuckles too. It feels like they're strangers now, getting to know each other again, softly and roughly.  
  
"Are you staying here for long?" asks N, as he starts walking again. Black joins him.  
  
He shrugs. "I don't know. I'd originally booked my hotel for a few weeks just so I could find you, but--"  
  
"Stay longer," says N. When Black looks at him questioningly, N adds, "Please."  
  
Black still looks confused, but he nods and smiles. N takes his hand and doesn't explain, because he doesn't know if he can express it well enough in words.  
  
That Black is his single piece of home.


End file.
